The Ebb and Flow of Becoming: Riding the Waves of Self-Discovery and Self-Reverence

Time to read: 9 Mins

The Essence (if you don’t have time to read):

Embrace Life as a Journey: Life is always unfolding, so don’t rush to define or finalize your story. Growth and learning are continuous.

Flexibility in Self-Care and Routines: Routines don’t have to be rigid. Allow your practices to flow with your current needs, and don’t feel guilty if your rituals change over time.

Honor Life’s Seasons: What works for you at one time may not work later, and that’s okay. Tools, routines, and even perspectives can be seasonal—use what feels right for the present.

Share What Helps You: Knowledge, hope, and supportive practices are meant to be shared. Passing along what’s helped you can be uplifting for others, too.

Create Your Own Toolkit: Everyone’s journey is unique, so build a personal toolkit that serves you. Keep what works, set aside what doesn’t, and be open to new things that resonate.

Allow for a Living Process: Growth doesn’t happen all at once. Embrace change and use it as a way to nurture gratitude, joy, and resilience as you move forward.

The Source:

I’ve been trying to tell my story for a long time. Sometimes in conversations with friends, my therapists, and even strangers. I’ve written journal entries, essays, and chapters for a memoir, but how do I carve out a story when it’s still happening? Where do I end the story when my life is still unfolding? Where do I stop when that culmination, that final chapter, keeps moving itself forward?

When I first started writing, my story was supposed to be about my mental health journey and the lessons I learned, a tale told a hundred times. Then I narrowed it down to my twenties, getting arrested, kicked out of college, going to rehab, my father dying suddenly, and ending with my enlightened 30s. But at the time, I was still living it; I still am. Even further, I had an Under The Tuscan Sun moment and met the love of my life on a 3-month trip to Italy. I moved from the US to Italy 3 months later, and now I am quite literally living a dream life, but again, it’s still happening. There’s no end to my story yet (thankfully), and I’ve realized my desire is less to tell a story and more to share what carried me through so that my story could continue.

We’ve all heard of the Marie Kondo method. I respect it. I see its value, but her method doesn’t flow with how my mind works. If I decided to throw away everything that didn't bring me joy at the moment, I would be left with nothing but regret because the things that bring me joy, like the stories I want to tell, ebb and flow in their relevance, importance, and meaningfulness. I’m often surprised at how things that had little significance to me in one moment of my life anchor themselves as critical moments later, the same way a dress I haven’t ever worn is the perfect thing for an event I didn’t anticipate going to. I just never know.

I don’t see this as a flaw or a struggle I’m working through. It’s just who I am and how I work. It’s the same with my self-care and spiritual practices. I beat myself up for years because I would go in and out of having a successful morning routine, or if I pulled a tarot card every day for six months and then couldn’t pull myself back to that ritual for months on end. I felt like a failure like I wasn’t committed, like I was treating myself poorly because I “didn’t show up for myself.” 

I read every book, watched every video, and tried every hack I could in an attempt to fix this broken wheel that would result in the smooth glide of a regular routine/ritual/practice, whatever you want to call it. An astrologer might say it’s Gemini ruling my 6th house. Apparently, I need variety and spontaneity. Others might say as they say about people, “Different seasons for different reasons.” And it’s true, we should flow with the seasons of our lives, not resist them. Putting something down for a while doesn’t mean you won't pick it up again when it feels good. We can’t get into the trap of thinking what worked for us then should work for us now or that it won’t work for us again at another time or in another season.

So that’s what brought me here to create *La Dolce Dana*, a collection of insights and tools I want to share with you in hopes of finding fellowship amongst the seas of self-discovery and in the hopes of passing along some food for thought as you travel on your own journey. I don’t promise to have all the answers or any for that matter. I can only promise you this. I will share every helpful tip, key takeaway, nourishing practice, and life-changing tool with you. 

Let us not gatekeep the things that saved us, lifted us out of despair, and gave us that push when we needed it. Knowledge is meant to be shared, but more importantly, hope is meant to be shared. So, I promise to share my hope with you, to pour every bit of what I’ve learned and what I’m learning into this space.

There’s a saying on Tiktok that I feel is very applicable for La Dolce Dana and really all personal and spiritual development spaces. “If it doesn’t apply, scroll on by.” What works for others may not work for you, and that includes your role models, mentors, and all those millionaires talking about how successful they are. We are not them. We can be millionaires someday, of course, but their journey and toolkit are different. 

Your kit is yours to grow as your journey is yours to travel. There will be tools like the hammer that you use all the time. Tools like the tile cutter will be there for a particular project. There will be tools like the garden shears that you bring out when the season in your life calls for a trim or fresh growth, and there will be some like the specialty paintbrush that you tried, found wasn’t really your thing, and passed on to someone who might put it to better use. Let the insights, practices, and tools come, go, and maybe stay only when you feel good using them. They are meant to support you, not cage you.

This monthly (or more, we’ll see) newsletter is a living, breathing documentation of my hope, gratitude, and joy. I’m grateful you’re here and that you’ve read this far. We’re in this together, a collective of people hoping and striving for better days ahead while feeling fondness and gratitude for the days that passed.